Tuesday, April 04, 2006

There's a War Out There Somewhere

That's what I heard someone say tonight at work. "There's a war out there somewhere." It's true, there is, it's just not where I am per se, but sometimes it's close enough. We've had our rocket attacks and our mine accidents and IED's, but not my unit, just my base. And really, we haven't had a lot of those and sometimes it's pretty easy to forget we're in a war zone.

Until we're at work and get the reports of the soldiers killed or injured in fighting and IED attacks. Then it all comes back into perspective and most of us are left sitting in our chairs doing our Force Protection mission all while wishing we were outside the wire making a difference. A while back I wrote about how a friend couldn't understand why a soldier would want to go to war, now I not only have come to realize that sometimes, even going to war isn't rewarding enough.

When my name was called to board the plane to begin my journey to Afghanistan, I couldn't believe how many emotions were going through me. My heart was racing and I was excited to finally get the opportunity to perform my mission and to help the people of Afghanistan. Many of us had elaborate visions of what we might be able to do here and accomplish and so far, we've not done any of them. I'm not saying that we aren't doing our mission because we are, far and above what was expected of us. We average 12 hours a day and have worked 60+ days in a row with no end in sight. What we haven't done is get outside the wire to help the local nationals. We haven't been on the humanitarian missions or the patrols that we would like to participate. We just perform our mission and we do the best that we can.

But the hard part is hearing and seeing the others that do "more" than we do. I'd venture a guess that there's a little part of each of us that wants to be part of something bigger than what we think we are, a part of everyone that wants to engage the enemy and a part that wants a little more excitement in our mission. That's the hardest part about being here, listening to what others have done on their missions and then trying to remember that our mission is important just as theirs. Even though ours might be somewhat boring, it's protecting thousands of Coalition Forces and maybe one day we'll see how important it is for us to be here, just like the soldiers outside the wire. I don't have a hard time understanding that, I just have a hard time accepting that it's going to be my only experience here.

I'm sure that there will always be a part of me that wishes I could have the experience that those others have had. I know there are no guarantees here and each and everyday could bring something new and unexpected, but I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on an even greater experience than I'm having right now.

There's a war out there somewhere and I can't help but wish I could be part of it before I leave Afghanistan.